Abortion and Congress
I am writing this lengthy blog for a woman who wrote into me yesterday. I may use it elsewhere too.
I received a lot of mail from my post yesterday about the barbaric monstrous evil abortion ban congress introduced.
One person wrote to me, saying that I couldn’t speak on the subject because I haven’t had an abortion. This person said to me privately that they had one and have never forgiven themselves which is why they are now, “Pro Life” (I don’t like that term. I prefer “Pro Evil”.) She said what I wrote was not fair nor was it based on experience. She then scolded me for being “careless with my words.” This woman then went on that women need to be reminded of morality, and the responsibilities of being a sexual person. Her last point was that she, as a mother to teenage girls now, thinks young women need to be reminded of the dangers of promiscuity and why sexuality is best saved for marriage.
To this woman, I never said I had not had an abortion. I said I had not had one late term. However if late into a pregnancy I found out a baby I was carrying was horrifically deformed and would not survive past delivery, and would definitely suffer once out of the womb… I would abort. No question about it. As a mother I would have zero problem preventing anything I love as much as I love children even a moment of suffering. I would “play God” and tell “God” to fuck off if He disagreed with me. (Although I know He doesn’t, because He told me.)
I have however had an abortion at 6 weeks. I was 18. I walked into the Planned Parenthood in Utah before I had missed my period and told them I was pregnant and to abort. They told me I couldn’t know this for sure because I hadn’t missed a period yet. I gained 15 pounds in 2 weeks. I knew I was pregnant. There was no question. They sent me home. I finally missed my period and went back. I reminded them I was in before, and that I didn’t require counseling just do it immediately. They did the test to confirm I was in fact pregnant, then insisted I wait 48 hours and get counseling first.
I told them they already had me on file coming in just a couple of weeks earlier. Why on Earth would they make me wait longer? After me being persistent (Aka, being a royal bitch,) they obliged.
I have never lost even one night of sleep over this. I have not even contemplated “what if” once. Not once. I do not contemplate it because I am proud of myself for knowing exactly what was right for me and listening to that voice in my head screaming at me to immediately take this action.
I also feel tremendous compassion and empathy for my younger self that birth control was not available to me as a 17 year old. I had a high school boyfriend that I made wait 3 years to have sex with me. 3 fucking years. Then finally I was a senior, and we did. By the summer after I graduated High School, in July I realized I was pregnant, and waited until August when I turned 18 to take action because I was not allowed to before then.
I was a responsible, careful teenage girl, yet I didn’t have birth control so my seemingly careful actions were not careful enough. I take no blame for this. I was fucked by religion and choices made by religious assholes long before I was actually having sex in a committed relationship. So I don’t have regret or remorse. Just anger that I was a good girl in a shitty situation.
What I explained to Planned Parenthood which I will also explain to you, I was raised by a woman who also was in the same situation when she was 18. She had no rights. It was 1970 Utah. It ruined her life, and ruined my childhood. I believe the energy that is what I am made up of, would have existed in some other way had she been given the right to abort her pregnancy. Yet she wasn’t allowed to do what was right for her, and out I came with a whole laundry list of health problems. The cost of my medical care, combined with my mothers new label of “slutty teenager” made her seemingly bright future non existent. All because she “couldn’t keep her legs shut.” And here I am running a page dedicated to sex. Because she gave birth to a girl, who also “couldn’t keep her legs shut.”
Here is the truth about 18 year old girls who are sexual and have sex. We are awesome. We are incredibly interesting, intriguing, adventurous, fun loving free spirits whose sexuality is just starting to bloom. We should be handed proper birth control, and protection from sexually transmitted diseases. That’s it. We should not be handed religious judgments passed down by men claiming to speak on behalf of a made up God developed for the sole purpose of controlling us. A made up God that damns us for doing the one thing that comes naturally to us. Morning after pills and abortions, (especially early stage abortions,) should be acceptable with more education being handed to us so that we don’t make continuous uneducated mistakes.
But our actual sexuality should be respected. A sexual woman is one of the most powerful creatures on the planet. If a sexual woman freed herself from any judgment, (as I now have,) we are a force to be reckoned with. Going as far back to Cleopatra and before. A woman who is not afraid of this, embraces it, and uses it however works for her will create an unwavering confidence. (Even if it’s as a means to energize herself privately with one lover as is the case with me,) this ability to be in touch and embrace a fully developed sexual soul helps to create women who excel in all areas.
And yet this is the one thing women are still “condemned for” by people like you.
To your daughters, I don’t think they need to be taught about the dangers of promiscuity or that sex is best saved for marriage. They need to be educated on facts. That’s it. Here is how you get sexually transmitted diseases. Here is how to protect yourself from that. Here are the ways you will get pregnant. Here is how to prevent that. Here is how to masturbate, so you can explore your own sexuality without needing another person until it is 100% right for you. Here is when you will know it is right for you. It is personal and no two women are exactly the same. So here are some questions to ask yourself before you engage in anything sexual with another person.
Why am I doing this? “Because I want to” is the only acceptable answer.
Do I feel bad about this choice? “No” is the only acceptable answer.
Am I feeling pressured to do this, or is it something I personally have decided is best for me? “I personally feel this is right for me” is the only acceptable answer.
If you make a mistake and do something too soon or don’t feel good about after, it’s not the end of the world. Take the information and move forward more slowly the next time. Life is full of mistakes, the key is to learn from them. Not condemn yourself for them.
If you don’t like what I am saying or disagree with me, then you should have let my mother make the decision for herself back then. People like you would not allow that. So your bed is made. People like me exist because of people like you. So deal with it.
This blog could go on and on but I will stop here. I seem to have hit a nerve with people and being as this page does deal with sexuality I feel this all is relevant to the page.
With that said, I will not turn this page into a serious anger filled rant page.
That just isn’t sexy.
And sexy is what I’m here for.
Thanks for allowing me to spew my rants now and then in between our sexy time here…
Now onto the next.